Cons & Pros: The Female Rc Consecrated Life

Is it just me, or is it harder for us ex3gf to talk about our experience? Whenever I come to this site, I feel 2 urges: one to agree with everything that has been said (well, not everything, but many things) and another, to defend what I once considered my family. I still feel a great fondness for many people who were my friends, or that I looked up to, like Elena Sada, and it’s a very confusing experience overall. I do believe that something constructive may be gained from examining our RC life. It was not, contrary to popular belief, perfect. There are many things about it that will continue to affect us in the worldwhether we want them to or not. So it is very important to analyze what happened and what went wrong, if anything. I would think that members of the Movement should find it very useful to understand what helps its members and what doesn’t. We shouldn’t have to feel like enemies of the Movement just because we have helpful criticism. I am sure we all feel that we joined in order to build it up, not to tear it down. We surrendered some of the most important things a human being can give: freedom, trust, love…In that sense we have invested a great deal in it, and almost have the duty to improve it, even if our criticism is not welcome.

C O N T R A :

I did a quick analysis of Regnum Christi when I started to understand things a few months ago. I would like to share it with you to get your input. I believe that my conclusions now would be different, more informed after a couple months of communication with others, but these were the original statements that I was able to make on my own, based completely on my own experience. Enjoy.

1. Lack of a discernment process. The candidacy or pre-candidacy is supposed to weed out those without a vocation. My sister-in-law was in the convent for six years, and when I asked her if she felt guilty about leaving after so long, she told me that discernment was encouraged and all the sisters even came out to wave her good-bye. In Regnum Christi, one has the example of the founder displayed, who claims he never questioned his vocation after the initial call.

2. Lack of proper training or Apostolates appropriate to a person’s talents. This must surely happen more in the 3gf (

Tercer Grado Feminino

= Third Level of RC = consecrated) because there are fewer consecrated, and thus the amount of people to fulfill a position is limited. People automatically become spiritual directors, or even give human dialogue when they no training whatsoever, simply because one is needed. As a matter of fact, what was I doing giving spiritual direction? I knew people who were spiritually very immature, due to their background as spoiled children, and they were put as leaders of souls.

3. Favoritism, especially of extroverted human leaders, leading to the creation of an environment where only certain types of personalities are accepted

4. Forced adaptation of certain methods and ideas, embodied in integration, such as fund-raising, recruitment, love for the Movement, the founder, and unconditional trust in directors as instruments of God. To be integrated, one must accept these ideals long before they are

natural,

? if ever.

5. Crassness in some members of the Movement, who harm souls by psychologically questionable methods such as pressuring, false reassurance about the wonderfulness of what will be encountered and the spiritual benefits, and even the value in the Church’s eyes. You feel guilty if you don’t do what they want.

6. Ignorance about psychological problems and even their prevalence in the 3gf, such as the many people with stomach problems, a pre-candidate I knew who was anorexic, and my own depression, which I can guarantee was not the only one in my year. They attempt to treat such problems with a spiritual phrase.

7. Creation of an environment where doubts cannot be expressed. Thus, the quality of each individual’s experience can never be known. I know my old companions will never talk about what they really felt. Were they happy? Why do we all have to appear happy to each other? Once, I told my spiritual guide that I had doubts the Movement would ever fulfill its mission, because what I saw in Mexico was a lot of schools, which, in proportion to the good that needed to be done, weren’t enough. She became very angry and told me that such a statement was one an enemy of the Movement would make, (something to that effect – she wanted to make me feel like I was an enemy of the church for feeling doubts.) I repeated this to my directress, and she agreed with her, not as strongly, but she did, and that was the one time I questioned her judgment (to myself, obviously not aloud.) It was very clear during my years in RC that to question would be to speed up your way to the door. This is probably why my dissociation became so pronounced. There were feelings and thoughts that were totally unacceptable if I wanted to follow what I felt was my vocation.

8. Letters of Nuestro Padre. Do we really know Nuestro Padre? Is he the person he presents to us, or is there an extremely intelligent person with a plan to build up an army of devoted followers? Something that will make him live on even after he has died, which is what made him leave Cotija originally? Did he abuse boys? Does abuse occur even now in the Movement? Are we all just a bunch of gullible people who have fallen for this charismatic man? We believe because we see the example of convinced people; unfortunately, something seems to be wrong, because those people eventually leave as well, leaving us with the responsibility of being the convincers of the next generation…Did NP write the letters he sends? Why does NP have us meditate on his letters? (Do LC’s have evening prayer? 15-30â€� of CNP) Why is something I would never do acceptable for him, that is, having others meditate on his letters? What about the bitter silence of those who know better? That is something I

guarded away in my heart.

9. Suffering. Take it like a pill. My understanding of suffering has been vastly destroyed by my experiences in RC. I do not claim to understand anything about it.

Salterio de mis Days

used to be my favorite writing of Nuestro Padre, and I now can see that what it did was encourage a self-obliterating spirit in me, one where my own individuality had no place.

10. Particular friendships. This completely screwed me up. I am a very reserved person, and the one time I made a genuine friendship was when I grew close to my assistant in the Pre-candidacy. When I asked my directress if that was considered a particular friendship, she said yes, and I have had a lot of trouble being close to anyone ever since. My assistant, incidentally, left within the year, and I have been unable to get into contact with her.

11. Constant dependence on directors, and monitoring of our actions. There was no freedom to learn independence or fail. Why not? It would have been so much better if we were taught healthy independence along the way, when we could do things without permission, for example.

12. Lack of support for those who have discerned against life in the LC/RC. I could tell no one good-bye except three directors, left by the side door during morning prayers, not even the people who drove me knew I wasn’t coming back…the consecrated here would not help me even though they knew I was trying to return to consecrated life, and both my former directors and Nuestro Padre were aware that I was only partly through the discernment process. I think that was the decisive move. Their coldness made it clear this was not for me. It couldn’t be, even if I wanted it to be. One day when I was still in Mexico, I broke down and called home and told them I was ill. This was one of the things that led to my departure; my spiritual guide was angry that my parents knew, because then I

had to

go home. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t spoken up.

P R O :
I think there are some valid, positive things, which I will enumerate, together with their questionable aspects.

1. Sincere members. There are some wonderful people in RC: kind, spiritual, sincere. I am sure some people have confidence in the good RC can do and they are willing to give their lives, even if there are negative aspects, even if they themselves are eventually discarded.

2. Commitment to prayer, to spirituality. If one really wants to live out the RC spirituality, they can draw many useful things from outside. The problem is taking it too seriously, too absolutely, too exclusively and the inconsistency between that and the reality of what the other people live.

3. Good systems and organization, in fact probably the best I have ever seen. That order and discipline, no matter how much I hated it, was good for me.

4. Incredible education. After all, their system is built upon the importance of passing on their ideas. My formation was very well done. The philosophical and theological basis are very good, they just need to include other things, freer ideas so as to be better.

5. Sports. Thank God for the outings and above all, for the swimming pool. That was my best friend there.

6. Some fruits of their works. It cannot be denied that LC and RC has many vocations, a lot of money, successful schools, and various works of apostolate with at least some ability to help souls

7. Increase in faithfulness to the Pope

8. They have the right idea about starting with the youth. The question is, do they do the right things with the youth? There’s something very wrong with the recruitment process, and I haven’t quite figured it out.

9. Leaders, too. I think they are right on target there. The leaders of the world are just as needy as the poor, and they are right about

from the top down

(Sp.

vertice a base

)

I can’t believe I allowed myself to go on for so long with such contradicting opinions of RC. Yet, it’s something we all do. I think it has to do with the quality of life and the illusion of happiness to be attained somewhere, somehow, with the illusion of a mission and a vocation.